A little joke on a regular day

[TomDoe]

What do a wife and a hand grenade have in common?

If you pull off the ring, the house is gone!

[anon31549144]

[SearingSunrazeSmash]

I found this old sailor map somewhere.

This is very true because EndeavourOS is not visible on map. Because, “EndeavourOS World” is somewhere deep in the universe.

[keybreak]

KDE sea?! It’s a freaking galaxy of BLOAT!

[pebcak]

[anon31549144]

Q: What’s green, has six legs, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?

A:

A snooker table.

[Kresimir]

[anon31549144]

Conversation with support:
“I don’t think it’s a mouse because it doesn’t have a tail. I think it’s a hamster.”
“Sigh… Fine… right-click the hamster.”

[joekamprad]

where is the Arch-ipelago?

[ricklinux]

I went to the Doctors the other day. He checked me out and looked into my ears. He said "You’ve got Arch Syndrome … It’s Terminal!

[SearingSunrazeSmash]

Mathematically, Archipelagoes are group of islands , hence those groups where names are not provided or "Scientific Archipelago " in North should be required destination.

[anon31549144]

A man enters a pub, walks up to have a seat at the bar, and then pulls out a three-inch tall leprechaun from his front shirt pocket to set it on the bar top.

The man looks at the bartender and says, “Yo, I’d like to get a beer for me and an Irish wine for my little pal here!”

The bartender returns with the drinks in short time. The man drinks his beer, the leprechaun drinks all the Irish wine from the bottle. Only for it to suddenly stop in place for a moment, do a fancy little dancing jig, spin in place super fast for a few seconds, then run over to another man seated at the bar and go “PFFFFTTTT!!!” all over him!

The man who brought the leprechaun says to the bartender, “Yo, can I get ANOTHER beer and Irish wine for me and my little pal?”

Well as you can imagine, the same thing happens again: The man drinks his beer while the leprechaun drinks the entire bottle of Irish wine. Only for it to stop, do another little jig, spin in place very fast for a second or two, then run right back to the other man at the bar and go “PFFFFTTT!!!” all over him again.

Now the second man is both quite soaking wet from being spat on and very, VERY pissed. He turns to the man who brought the leprechaun and says, “Look, I don’t care that it’s a mythological being, but if that little fucker does that one more time, I’m gonna castrate him with a butter-knife!”

The first man shrugs and says, “Hate to break it to you, but leprechauns actually don’t have male or female sexes; in fact they don’t have any genitals at all.”

Stunned, the second man murmurs, “How the f**k do they take a piss without any genitals?”

The first man having heard him says, “OOHH, that’s simple… they go “PFFFFFTTTT!!!””

[keybreak]

[anon31549144]

why Romans couldn’t code

[serutan]

Weird how a lot of cultures never had a symbol to represent zero. Good thing the Arabs eventually showed up.

[tlacatl]

not to forget the indians and the folks of mesoamerica

[ceph]

[SearingSunrazeSmash]

A. Why does nobody talk to circles?
Because there’s no point.

B. How do you stay warm in any room?
Go to the corner—it’s always 90 degrees

C. What do you get when you multiply a New York City landmark by itself?
Times Square.

[freebird54]

I can’t find an emoji for “lame” - so here’s a “perilously close to Dad jokes” alert…

[SearingSunrazeSmash]

I was was trying to look for some “math-induced” jokes, and came across these.