Hey all. As this is truly the only place I know to brag about this stuff (and I promise to contribute more, but fixing what I break is taking up a lot of time), yesterday I messed something up trying to speed up my boot time, and the boot hung forever, literally. Typically I would have called it much earlier, but now that I know how to do significantly more than I did when I started a year ago, I want to know the why so much deeper. I reinstalled GRUB, booted into emergency mode, and manually changed the UUID in my fstab (still not sure how it changed so drastically).
Fixed
But I feel like (similar to the manual install) that should be a badge. Just chuffed. 
Carry on!