And to top if off: https://www.msn.com/en-in/news/other/leaked-phone-number-of-mark-zuckerberg-reveals-he-is-on-signal/ar-BB1fjNfL
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rather a saying than a joke on how to increase prestige in society:
buying things that arenât needed,
with money you donât have,
just to impress people you actually hate.
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I agree to nearly 100%. The only word I would change is impress. I would replace it with offend. 
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right, never saw it this way.
it is rather a cynical game of offending people with the grotesque excess of money and what you can do with it.
and another one to calm downâŚ
if you are young and have a capitalist attitude you are a crook.
if you are older and still not have, you are a fool 
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How very Fight Club of you⌠though they stated it slightly different:
âWe buy things we donât need with money we donât have to impress people we donât like.â
Though the quote is apparently older than that.
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da hast du mich eiskalt erwischt, gratuliere. das nächste mal bestimmt mit korrektem quellennachweis und nicht lose aus der lamäng in eine andere sprache, versprochen. anhand der reaktion wohl auch eine unglßckliche wahl - ich hoffe inständig, niemand hat sich dadurch wirklich angesprochen gefßhlt, obwohl ich mir das hier eigentlich nicht vorstellen kann und mag. das meine ich genau so, kein witz.
ich belasse das ganze mal im original, wer weiĂ, welche fehler mir tollpatsch sonst noch beim Ăźbersetzen passieren.
humor ist, wenn man trotzdem lacht - und ßber mich selbst fällt mir auch nicht wirklich schwer, wie manche vielleicht vermuten?
der philo bildwitz gefällt mir, aber es ist das falsche buch(?)
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Sad news indeed - Prince Philip is dead, he was 99. I talked to my wife, told her I donât want to live past that certain age - be in a non-responsive state, dependent on a machine and fluids to keep me alive.
If that ever happens, just do me a favour and pull the plug.
Summary
She got up, snatched the plug out of the computer and threw out my beerâŚ.
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That dirty westerner have utterly destroyed my favorite brutal dictatorship OS!!!1111 
P.S. Kim Desktop Enviroment 
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My computer has the Miley virus. Itâs stopped twerking.
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Lol
Youâre the joker?
Write this joke down on paper, itâs tearable!
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Once upon a time, not so long ago, there was an old nunnery convent beside a wealthy town. The convent was getting kind of run-down, and out of keeping with the affluence in the buildings around it. So the townsfolk decided to get something done about it, and they approached the Mother Superior with an offer to do the old building up; they said to her âIt looks so bad, itâs like a haunted house!â
âFunny you should say that,â she responds, " because it certainly has something like that going onâŚbut I am more than happy for you to do the building up, and maybe that will take care of our little problem?"
The townsfolk thought this very mysterious, but she wouldnât say any more.
So the next day an architect named Jim is sent in to assess the building. As he is being shown through the building by the Mother Superior, a ghostly apparition floats past them in a hallway.
Jim stutters out, " What ⌠what ⌠what on earth ⌠that was a nun, without a body!! You did see that too, didnât you??"
Mother Superior just smirks and nods mysteriously, and carries on.
Jim decides to keep quiet about this, because he doesnât want anyone to think him crazy, so he goes off to prepare his report for the townsfolk organising the rebuild.
The next day the stone mason Robbie visits the convent to see what stone can be salvaged. He also sees the same apparition, with the same response from the Mother Superior. He also keeps it quiet, fearing ridicule.
And again, the following day, when Aaron the electrician visits in order to see where the existing wiring is laid, he is startled by the apparition whilst balancing on a ladder in the hallway; he falls, and is injured. After a quick trip to the townâs hospital Emergency Department, he is brought before the townsfolk organising the rebuild in order to explain what happened.
So the truth is revealed. Jim and Robbie were also there at the meeting, and confirmed the story. And it was decided that this apparition was dangerous, and needed to be dealt with before any work could commence on the rebuild.
The townâs police are called in to deal with this odd issue. Two officers head into the convent in order to find the apparition; unsure of what to expect, they stake out the hallway where the spectre has been previously seen. Pretty soon it appears, and the two officers rush out of hiding, jumping at it, trying to tackle it to the ground. The cloth just slips through their arms, as if they werenât even there, the two officers slam into the wall. Humiliated, they return to their chief.
With something to prove now, they return the next day with automatic pistols. As the spectre appears again, they open fire. The apparition passes them by, ignoring the fusillade of bullets. Stunned and confused, again the officers return to their chief. Heâs not wanting to lose face with his bosses, so he calls in a favour.
The next day a couple of army officers from the local army regiment is there in the hallway. Soon there is a flash and thunder as an RPG is released and detonates in the hallway. Again an unconcerned apparition floats by. Gob-smacked, the two return the next day and lay a trap. Down in the town the townsfolk are incredulous when a high TNT charge destroys half the convent. However, now everyone can see not only the defeat of the army, but the apparently unstoppable spectre drifting by where the hallway used to be.
Weeks later, when the dust has settled, and the sight has become so commonplace that everyone locally just accepts it as a given, the townsfolk have decided to go ahead with the rebuild regardless.
After removal of the rubble, the cement truck rolls up, and the labourers spread a nice new foundational floor. Ten minutes later there is a soft âsplatchâ sound. The labourers turn, and see that the spectre is face-down in the wet cement. No longer moving, just rapidly solidifying with the drying floor. Mother Superior walks by and notices this too.
A meeting is held on the spot, with everyone involved staring agape at the end to this saga. Nobody can understand what just happened, until Mother Superior starts laughing.
âItâs simple,â she says, âold habits die hard!â
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For a joke it would be enough to just write:
But this⌠
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spigel.de told me I have to disable my ad blocker to view the story. UmâŚno.
Boudreaux is in his front yard hosing off his bass boat when his best friend Thibodeaux walks up. âMy friendâ says Thibodeaux âI got some good news and I got some bad news. Which one you want firstâ? âI guess Iâll take the bad newsâ replies Boudreaux. So Thibodeaux says âYour wife done died. I found her floatin in the bayouâ. A visibly upset Boudreaux exclaims âMy Celeste?! Thatâs terrible, jus terrible! Whatâs the good newsâ? âWellâ replies Thibodeaux âThe good news is I got two dozen blue crabs off her and weâre gonna run her again in the morningâ!
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