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@Sharp you sir, are on fire today
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My wife says that I am HOT! 
looking forward to my first ban but it’s too good not to share…
found here: https://www.rupissed.com/jokes.html
It’s wrong in every way…
Free Drinks
Two Aussies, Bruce & Ken were down on their luck and hanging out for a cold drink or three. After checking their pockets and finding only 50 cents, Bruce came up with a brilliant strategy. “I’ll take the 50 cents and show you how we can drink all day for free!”
Quickly, he went into a butcher’s shop and bought a single sausage, which he stuck in Ken’s fly. They then went to a nearby hotel. “Two beers”’ said Bruce to the bartender. They downed them as fast as they could and the bartender waited for the money.
All of a sudden, Bruce got down on his knees and began sucking the sausage hanging out of Ken’s fly. “Get out of my pub, you filthy poofters!”, the bartender screamed and booted them out the door.
They did this all day, visiting about 16 pubs. “I just can’t do this anymore”, Bruce whined. “My knees are getting sore from kneeling”.
“It’s alright for you”, Ken replied. “I lost the sausage after the third pub.”
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Her: my boobs are as hot today as they were 30 years ago!
Me: will I reckon they should be, one is laying in your grits, the other is hanging in your coffee.
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