Win 7
Solus
Fedora demands you keep a day-timer to keep track of upcoming version shifts.
As far as EOS I don’t think I could get by head around The Arch Way all those years ago
2 cents
Another vote for Mint from me.
No F-ing way! No Windows unless it’s a last resort.
I just installed Aurora on this laptop and wow is it slooooooow! Boot time is over a minute with a few systemd failures noted.
By comparison, LinuxMint took about 15 seconds to boot.
More tinkering…
I start all my “moved from Windows” users with Mint…They can either stay (most do) or, after they get their footing, move to something more advanced.
you said PC/OS noobs not Linux noobs so there by the grace of god go I, etc
I will say this about Mint: it’s the first thing I tried when I quit Win. It was so much like Win I moved on…
- Will you be there to support them?
- What happens if the next software recommendation/requirement they get for their business is Windows-only?
Valid questions. The answer is yes…mostly. I asked them if there were any specific software requirements and they said the only thing they plan on using it for is “Xero accounting software” (which is web based). They don’t even have email addresses.
I’m going to throw in Mint or Ubuntu. Both are simple, Mint is more Windows like in layout. Ubuntu can look little off on it’s layout, but my wife’s friend who never has used Linux has had no issues with it.
Under the hood they are mostly the same aside snaps, which can be handy for example like browser, where it updates automatically, but on the other hand when applying updates traditionally this happens too.
Okay, so… Linux Mint would definitely work, I’ve given my mom a Mint laptop and she is happy with it, as long as I do updates for her.
Something I did not yet see is nixbook. It’s a lightweight, auto-updating OS for absolute beginners based on Nix. It’s being developed for the Computer Upcycle Project, a 501(c)(3) non-profit which donates laptops to people who otherwise could not afford to have one. Which means, in terms of tech-literacy, around the same level as the couple.
The universal blue distros are okay as long as you only need to install flatpaks. But, iirc, they only auto-update after being powered on for 6 hours. I don’t think the couple would update the system on their own, given their tech-history, so they would need to have it running for 6 hours. Not sure if they will, given their tech-history… So either reconfigure that (you probably can, I don’t know how though) or another distro which auto-updates safely. Which would most likely mean immutable to minimize risk. Maybe a Fedora atomic spin, but I did not test them.
To add on to what Dalto said, while immutable doesn’t fit my style I could consider it a strength that it protects a true noob (defined as almost wholly computer ignorant) by preventing them from running experiments that would delete critical components.
Thought about this for hours, Linux Mint was also my choice.
How many hours? 
4 or 5, used all the different OS and thought what would I suggest to a all new user. I never tell anyone to use a OS but what I use and why. This topic got me thinking, I would think they make a pill for this.
I’d like to change my answer.
If these are Luddites as you say they are maybe a ThinStation client, (the Linux version of a chromebook.) All of computing apps are online..nothing to break per se
ZorinOS is good.
Consider also looking at Mint Linux or MX Linux.
Yeah EOS terminal oriented approach is a bit off putting to new comers.
i would go with LMDE also ,whas my starting point years ago…
Ze Germans had have this discussion few months ago:
I can understand the Mint recommendations and I wouldn’t disagree.
Personally, I would probably reach for Kubuntu, because of my personal preference for KDE. It’d put me in a better position to support it. That’s me though.
And while I’m aware it’s an unpopular option, I would personally avoid twisting any arms with respect to Linux. I’d talk it up, but I’d also make sure Windows remains on the table as the alternative, assuming the hardware originally came with a Windows license and you retained the key. If there’s no valid Windows key for the hardware, well that’s a pretty compelling reason to offer Linux, from a cost standpoint alone.
Offer skeuomorphic icon themes, instead of austere flat icons:
You can offer, to install Zorin and Mint, according to their wish, rather than according to this forum’s vote. You can offer a demonstration of both, by having two live-USBs for one laptop, or two laptops, and show side by side.
There’s also software compatibility, yeah you could often get it working in wine but a total newn be OK with that?