The main thing I wish to change is the titlebar setup. Cinnamon seems to maintain them separately, but not make them available separately - and trying to find what you want is REALLY difficult because the titlebars are rarely shown in what I’ll call the ‘theme repository’. Just seemed no worth the effort to figure out, when XFCE works just fine and has Thunar and a better terminal…
Me too! I never became comfortable (or happy) with any GNOME implementation. I don’t mind GNOME tools, and the Gtk series of libraries (used by other DE, including Xfce), is fine.
If I’m gonna use a DE at all, it’s Xfce. I don’t need the overhead of KDE or GNOME and I don’t find LXDE very useful (plus I don’t think it’s supported or actively developed any more). I don’t actually NEED a DE at all, but Xfce is tolerable. Sometimes I just use the really basic, simple IceWM, a no-frills window manager with modest features and a fairly light footprint.
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Yes, I was looking for that too 
In the Window preferences there are four options for Buttons layout (see below), and in the Font Selection you can choose the Window title font, but I’ve not found any other ways to edit it.
Edit: I just had a look in the gtk.css file in the gtk-3.0 folder for one of the themes. There is a section with “titlebar” settings including “min-width”, “padding-left” and “padding-right”. No time to play with it right now, but it might give you some of what you’re looking for.
You probably haven’t used a DE in a long time, if you’re still under the impression that Xfce is lighter that KDE or GNOME. It really is not, Xfce is probably requires the most resources out of any popular DEs.
KDE and GNOME lost a lot of weight.
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I have never liked GNOME, so no matter what the resource usage is, it’s not on my list of things to do. Regarding KDE, yes, it’s much more efficient than it once was, but the configuration I use with Xfce is still slimmer and lighter, plus I don’t have to install a lot of extra libraries, only the ones that come preconfigured. I haven’t checked to see if the Endeavour OS setup with Xfce is more or less efficient; it’s the one I have on my fastest hardware where resources are not a consideration; basic features (I don’t need many of them) are more than sufficient.
I would use cinnamon if gsync worked properly