“Or El Turderino if you’re not into the whole brevity thing.”
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I’m northern Canadia, so I’m North of most people I talk to.
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Same with me, just about where the tree line stops and polar bears start.
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Change your name to “North of North Of”
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It sounds like I am somewhere in between the two of you in beautiful Canadia 
My name is Danny
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The Saruman analog in “Bored of the Rings”.
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Head a bit more towards North and a lot more towards East and you’ll find me, near the Lapland border. 
Sadly, no polar bears. Only reindeer and Santa.