6 Likes
Absolutely correct. But showing that sort of empathy towards other people is what builds trust.
This is nothing to do with hypermoralism - essentially, in the words of comedian Adam Hills: âDonât be a dick.â
6 Likes
My point is that people can get offended over practically anything, and that walking on eggshells around such people can get tiresome really quickly. Just because someone is offended, does not make them automatically right, and it does not make them automatically deserving of empathy.
Empathy is precious and should not be wasted on people who get upset over trivial things. Sure, these things might not be trivial to some people: to someone, an innocent joke said on the internet might be worth fighting to the death over.
Personally, I think such people are just being petty. 
And even though it may sometimes not look like it, I really try not to be a dick to anyone 
6 Likes
Of course! Though I think one of the core issues here is what qualifies as being a dick can change from person to person. I think the vast majority of us would have a very similar definition of what that is, though.
4 Likes
Yes!
But if we get into the habit of asking ourselves âam I being a dick?â then thatâs well on the road to being a better person.
7 Likes
Yes, I really try that, whether you believe me or not. I try to be nice, friendly, assume good faith in everyone⌠But I also came to terms with the unpleasant fact of reality that there will always be people who think Iâm a dick, no matter what (sometimes unjustly, but sometimes I deserve it, too).
5 Likes
Because something is tiresome or requires constant care it does not mean it is not a righteous and civil thing to do.
Restraint is often tiresome, yet it is a must in a civilized company.
The offended people have left the forum. This is the easiest yet the most sad and destructive outcome possible. In my book this is a total failure of the community.
Hereâs a bit of a helping hand for you:
Now these two sentences are in total contradiction. The only way to not fall into derision would be to delete one of them.
2 Likes
I think that people nowadays are much more easily offended than before the advent of social media.
Or was it simply not reported as much because of its absence?
3 Likes
Really? So, if I threaten to leave unless you censor people I disagree with, and you say ânoâ, and I actually leave because of it, you would consider that to be your failure?
Is that really your standard of success?
Also, why arenât you walking on eggshells around me, if you think that is an appropriate standard for righteousness and civility? 
3 Likes
You seem to have a mighty hard shell. 
Anyway, do not take it too personally, only the last remarks were targeted at you. The failure as a community is a collective responsibility. The least desirable outcome has happened, and I wish weâd all learn something out of this so we can prevent similar things in the future.
3 Likes
If I may intercede, I think itâs best if this subject is dropped. I think itâs fair to say there will most likely be no consensus made between everyone on all sides. In my personal opinion, I think the offending party could have done perhaps a better job at voicing there concerns, and I think some of us could have done a better job in listening to the concerns of a rather prevalent member of our community.
4 Likes
I donât agree that itâs a community failure, as ultimately the community canât know whatâs offensive to any given person. We can certainly agree on social norms of western society, though.
4 Likes
Yeah, youâre lucky that it is so very difficult to offend me (one has to show deliberate intention to do so).
But seriously, life is so much less stressful when you have a thick skin.
7 Likes
I just have one thing to say. In over a year and then some I havenât seen much of this on this forum. I think we all need to just agree to disagree as we all have different life experience and views. I think this is hard because if that person isnât even on the forum at the time and you respond to someone and they are offended the only thing you can do is apologize and try to get their perspective on it. Then you maybe can be a little careful in choosing your words. Donât know what else to say other than letâs get past this and move on. I think enough has been said and I do see both sides. I think we just have to be cognicent of the choice of words we use and have some understanding when someone is offended even if we donât fully understand why.
9 Likes
Fair point, the discussion has been healthy but I think weâve all said our pieces.
2 Likes
political correctness sucks
I know what Iâm talking about. I live in Germany.
3 Likes
1 Like
Just an example:
Recently, some projects removed the terms âblacklistâ and âwhitelistâ from their code, because apparently some people think these words can be considered racist. Clang now uses âblocklistâ and âallowlistâ IIRC.
Not that I have an issue with these changes as they are technically irrelevant, but I have never ever associated these terms with real people and even less with peopleâs skin tones, and I wonder whatâs going on in those heads who interpret these as being racist. (No, I actually do not wonder.)
Letâs just stay civilised and refrain from ad hominems, and Iâm sure this will work out just fine.
Nobodyâs perfect, but there is most often a chance to apologise when youâve done something wrong.
I wouldnât put so much weight on that particular case.
9 Likes
Ughhh⌠Sooo who else hates Windows 
3 Likes