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By that logic I shouldâve gone blind.
Hence disproved!
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To the purrtherest reaches of the universe!
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I particularly love the second one as an ex-journalist who took a lot of beating in the comment sections.
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Says one athlete to another: You, I now have a golf sack! The other replies: Thatâs terrible. When I think how painful tennis elbow is âŚ
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A Christian guy named Bill saw an ad online for a Christian horse, so he went to check it out. The horseâs owner said, âItâs easy to ride him. Just say âPraise the Lord!â to make him go and âAmen!â to make him stop.â Bill got on the horse and said, âPraise the Lord!â Sure enough, the horse started to walk. âPraise the Lord!â he said again, and the horse began to trot. âPraise the Lord! Praise the Lord!â he yelled, and the horse broke into a gallop. Bill was enjoying his ride so much that he almost didnât notice the cliff he and the horse were about to go over. Bill shouted âAMEN!â at the top of his lungs, and the horse stopped right at the edge of the cliff. Relieved, Bill said, âPhew! Praise the Lord!â
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Two brothers live in the same city. One of the brothers goes on vacation while the other brother remains to look after the traveling brotherâs beloved cat.
Worried for the welfare of his cat, the traveling brother phones home.
Traveling brother: Howâs my cat?
Stay-at-home brother: Your catâs dead.
Traumatized, the traveling brother continues his vacation, but he can think of nothing else except for his deceased cat. So he phones his brother again.
Traveling brother: You know, you could have presented the news to me more gradually. For example, when I first phoned, you might have told me that my cat was on the roof. When I phoned again, you might have told me that my cat was still on the roof but had contracted pneumonia from the cold. When I phoned a third time, you might have told me that my cat had died from pneumonia.
Stay-at-home brother: Yes, you are right. I should have broken this sad news to you more gradually.
Traveling brother: By the way, how is Mom?
Stay-at-home brother: Sheâs on the roof.
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Doctor, doctor, I would rather die than have an operation.
Donât be foolish, you can combine the twoâŚ
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I fine you ⏠5000 for calling our minister an asshole. Do you have anything to add to that?
Yes, of course, but I donât have enough money for that anymore âŚ
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Becky was 73 and just got her first computer. After her son spent over 2 hours teaching her how to use it, she was sure she knew everything there was to know about computers. Unfortunately though, one day she couldnât get it to start so she promptly called an IT guy to come over and take a look at it.
The IT guy managed to fix the issue in a few minutes and was on his way. Becky was proud when she overheard the IT guy on the phone with his boss telling him about the issue, she was sure it meant it was a serious issue and she was sure she took care of it the right way.
âExcuse me if you donât mind me asking,â asked Becky to the man on his way out. âI couldnât help overhearing you on the phone with your boss. What exactly is an Id ten T problem? Just so I can tell my son.â
The man smiled, took out a pen, âit stands for this: I-D -1-0-Tâ.
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I would have asked âHow much would it be if I call him a dumb idiot?â
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Funny? Or rather sad?
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It reminds me of toilet paper rolls after the 2008 international economic farce of a collapse. Price went up, and the rolls got skinnier. They had the gall to write, a better design and wrapping for more, or some idiotic marketing crap of the sort.
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Hey, thatâs quite offending eh! 
signed @pebcak
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