Q. Who is the fake?
A. Both of them.
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An economist, a chemist, and an engineer were stranded on a desert island. And between them they had only a single can of beans, but no can opener. The engineer suggested that he climb a palm tree to a precise height, then throw the beans at a precise distance, at a precise angle. “And when the can hits,” he said, “it will split open.” “No,” said the chemist. “We’ll leave the can in the sun until the heat causes the beans to expand so much the can will explode.” “Nonsense,” said the economist. “Using either method we’d lose too many beans. According to my plan, there will be no mess or fuss and not a single bean will be lost.” Well, the engineer and the chemist said, “We’re certainly willing to consider it. What’s your plan?” And the economist answered, “Well, first assume we have a can opener.”
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Oh, where would we all be without “axiomatic assumptions”
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Because 
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This happen when I installed KWin to be window manager for LXQt
Of course, I do agree with you.
Mild language warning
Two men crash into each other at an intersection. First man steps out of his wrecked car screaming:
“You son-of-a-bitch, you wrecked my Jag! I’m a lawyer, I’m going to sue you for everything you have!”
Other man responds, “You Lawyers only care about money, you don’t even realize you just lost an arm.”
The Lawyer looks down where his arm should be and yells “Where’s my fucking Rolex!”
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He’s describing me…
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Neither “little” nor “joke” but anyway…
xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown… If something - anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that.
xxx: So we’re sitting here, looking through his, uhm, “legacy”
xxx: You’re gonna love this
xxx:
smack-my-bitch-up.sh- sends a text message “late at work” to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login.xxx:
kumar-asshole.sh- scans the inbox for emails from “Kumar” (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like “help”, “trouble”, “sorry” etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply “no worries mate, be careful next time”.xxx:
hangover.sh- another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like “not feeling well/gonna work from home” etc. Adds a random “reason” from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am.xxx: (and the oscar goes to)
fucking-coffee.sh- this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something likesys brew. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk.xxx: holy sh*t I’m keeping those
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