A little joke on a regular day

Lounge EndeavourOS pub
1003

Hardcore environmentalists

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image636×515 68 KB

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1004

jazz_chords

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1005

Off-Topic!

Here we post only jokes :wink:

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1006

Hope this one hasnt been posted here already:

A Chinese Doctor can’t find a job in a Hospital in the US, so he opens a clinic and puts a sign outside ‘GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100.’
An American lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic.
Lawyer: “I have lost my sense of taste.”
Chinese: “Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 22 and put 3 drops in patient’s mouth.”
Lawyer: “Ugh. this is kerosene.”
Chinese: “Congrats, your sense of taste is restored. Give me $20.”
The annoyed lawyer goes back after a few days to recover his money.
Lawyer: “I have lost my memory. I cannot remember anything.”
Chinese: “Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in his mouth.”
Lawyer (annoyed): “This is kerosene. You gave this to me last time for restoring my taste.”
Chinese: “Congrats. You got your memory back. Give me $20.”
The fuming lawyer pays him, and then comes back a week later determined to get back $100.
Lawyer: “My eyesight has become very weak I can’t see at all.”
Chinese: “Well, I don’t have any medicine for that, so take this $100.”
Lawyer (staring at the note): “But this is $20, not $100!!”
Chinese: “Congrats, your eyesight is restored. Give me $20”
You can’t beat Chinese Doctors

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1007
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1008

The other way around.

I’d like to interject for a moment…

…What you’re refering to as windows, is in fact, NSA/windows, or as I’ve recently taken to calling it, NSA plus Windows. Windows is not an operating system unto itself, but rather another free component of a fully functioning NSA system made useful by the NSA corelibs, spyware and data collection system components comprising a full surveillance system.

Many computer users run a modified version of the NSA system every day, without realizing it. Through a peculiar turn of events, the version of the NSA data collection system which is widely used today is often called Windows, and many of its users are not aware that it is basically the NSA system, developed by the NSA.

There really is a Windows, and these people are using it, but it is just a part of the system they use. Windows is the piece of trash: the program in the system that steals the system resources from the other programs that you run. This piece of crap is an essential part of an NSA system, but useless in practice; it can only function in the context of a complete NSA system. Windows is normally used in combination with the NSA surveillance system: the whole system is basically NSA with Windows added, or NSA/Windows. All the so-called Windows systems are really distributions of NSA/Windows!

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1009

:male_detective: sir, you need to come with us, NOW. :male_detective:

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1010

Two goats are eating garbage

The first one finds a roll of film and eats it.

When he’s done, the second one asks, “how did you like the movie?”

The first one responds, “it was OK, but I liked the book better.”

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1011

If you want to play a real life version of Pac-Man then go to the sofa shop and try and avoid the salesman.

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1012

Top 3 invisible things:
1)
2)
3)

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1013

How to determine the gender of your cat ?

Pour some milk in a bowl and place it next to the cat, if she drinks it, your cat is a female, but if he drinks it, the cat is a male

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1014

I am very surprised that in this woke world you only have 2 genders for the cat to choose from. Isn’t that rascist? :rofl:

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1015

One the other hand, the testing process suggests that being ‘woke’ is assumed!

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1016

Exactly, maybe the cat feels like a dog every saturday and want to be treated like that.

Somehow if people say so it is all right.

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1017

image

:baby:

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1018

Somehow my post wast considered offensive. So pointing out something that is clearly ridiculous is somehow considered offensive? I’m offended!

EDIT
It was corrected…justice!

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1019

external-content.duckduckgo.com

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1020

Mine too. My favourite recursive joke right now:

All this woke stuff is she/it.

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1021

I feel ya brother

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1022

A funeral service is held for a lady who just passed away.

As the pallbearers carry the casket out, they accidentally bump into a wall.

They hear a faint moan.

They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive.

She lives for 10 more years and then dies.

They have another funeral for her.

At the end of the service, the pallbearers carry out the casket.

As they are walking, the husband cries out, “Watch out for the wall!”

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